Today I feel like I need to be completely transparent, and maybe a little vulnerable. Sometimes I think it is important to humble yourself and lay it all out there- shine a light on those dark moments so God can come in and help filter out anything negative so that you can be a beacon for Him, instead of dwelling in those yucky and murky places of negativity and unhappiness.
I have been struggling with a lot of discontentment lately. I have been completely ungrateful for what I have been blessed with and focusing on all the negative that has been in my (our) life. It’s easy to do that when there is a lot on negativity upfront and in your face (thanks media! ;-P).
For us personally, we have been dealing with a handful of things that are really weighing heavily with us. My son, for example, is struggling with some behavior issues- especially in school. He has (for a while now) had a lot of trouble staying focused on simple tasks, and is easily distracted. What 5 year old isn’t?! He is only in Kindergarten, and this is completely new for him, and I understand that there is a learning curve with every child. But we are 10 weeks into school now and we are STILL really struggling with him. He is really struggling and is often discontent. Without going further into a long explanation (I could vent all day about this), we need something to change with him. We need to find that linchpin that will turn everything around, or at least help us find our footing on this rocky terrain. I know it will eventually change (in time), and I pray everyday that he will find his “groove” because he was made for something amazing! He already IS amazing! I need to be grateful for that…
Yet, I still struggle with an ungrateful heart- ignoring all the good that is in my life. So I want to change that. I AM changing my heart.
We have a beautiful new home, but all I can think about is how I don’t have all the furniture & art that I want to make it look like those beautiful pictures in the home decor magazines. I focus on the fact that we have been here for 4 months and are still fighting spiders/bugs like crazy even though we have had pest control come out twice, AND we have used the bug killer foggers. Yet we are still getting bitten.
I am struggling with my conductive hearing loss and tinnitus, and can’t seem to find a hearing aid that works the way I want/need it to, or a doctor who seems to genuinely care about me, only about whether I can pay the co-pay. So I struggle hearing AND I struggle not hearing with all of the ringing in my ears.
We own two houses, yet I dwell on the fact that our second home is currently empty with no renter in sight, and paying the mortgage on two homes is depleting our savings down to nothing.
I was blessed with the ability to pursue higher education, BUT I think about how I still don’t have my BA (almost 20 years after starting it). I think how different my life could be IF I just had that piece of paper that says I graduated- and really all I need to do is pay for, and take an “Exit Exam”, but that is extra money and time and a weekend trip out of town that we really don’t have available.
I focus on what I DON’T have instead of what God has so graciously given us. We are in NEED of NOTHING. We have closets full of clothes, a fridge and pantry full of food, strong healthy bodies, TWO! houses, two cars, friends and family who love us, educated minds, the ability to travel and see the world, we have our God, our faith and the ability to proclaim our beliefs without fear …the list goes on and on. For all of this and more, I am GRATEFUL. I am truly blessed.
So, I will end with this- There is always, ALWAYS something to be thankful for! It may not be apparent right away, but it is there. Just take a moment to reflect and seek out something positive- no matter how small it may be (HEY! I got to have a cup of coffee this morning!). Actively find something to be thankful for- every day. We (I) must choose to be grateful, over dwelling in the negative.
Unfortunately, I have no true conclusion for this post other than to say that I have made a conscious decision to seek contentment and happiness. I know that wonderful and UN-explainable peace & contentment only comes from knowing and seeking God, but it must be done on a daily basis, and that is something I have forgotten to do. If we actively seek out the heart of God, we will find that happiness. BUT it has to be something that we choose to do EVERY DAY, continuously. I hope that is encouraging. It is for me!
“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”- 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18
I think this post was more of a reminder for myself to inwardly reflect every day on the things that I am grateful for, so this month I have decided to choose one thing to be thankful for EVERY DAY. How about you? I am going to post every day on Instagram for the next 30 days to encourage positive thinking, and help to remind myself (and hopefully others) that there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for!
Until Next Time…
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